


Winter's Child

by flyingfoxtopus



Series: Domesticated Foxes [6]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, Baby Natasha Romanov, F/M, Fanart, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Protective Bucky Barnes, Soft Bucky Barnes, Some feels, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21910006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingfoxtopus/pseuds/flyingfoxtopus
Summary: A strange bond has sprung up between the Red Room’s newest recruit and their most reclusive instructor. The rest of the staff is confused by the winter soldier’s interest. The little red head is smart enough, but she’s also runty, and has a discipline problem.The Winter Soldier has no idea why he likes the child. All he knows is he can’tnotprotect the little scrap of a thing with more fight than sense. She’s so small and so outraged at the injustice of the world. There is something about her that reminds him of… Someone.NR67 doesn’t like the Red Room. She knows most of the instructors don’t think she’ll survive training. The older girls are all bullies. There is never enough to eat. The only good thing is the famous Winter Soldier, hero of the Motherland, has taken an interest in her. He’s surprisingly kind, frequently sneaks her food, and he at least thinks she can survive and maybe even thrive in the world she’s been thrown into.I have included this in Domesticated Foxes because it is compliant and I will be using it as back story for that story. You definitely don't have to read anything else in the series to enjoy this.
Series: Domesticated Foxes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1443574
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	1. Tiny Child Full Of Fight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Calliopes_Quill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calliopes_Quill/gifts).



> For Calliopes_Quill. Thank you for believing in me and listening to all my writing issues. Natasha deserves happiness and Family. Hope you like this step on that journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the end.

This fight wasn’t going as well as the tiny red headed girl had hoped it would. Four against one were bad odds, she shouldn’t have expected anything else when she started this. She curled into a tighter ball protecting her head with her arms.  
  
Something closed around the back of NR67's shirt, lifting her free of the fray.  
  
“Fighting is against the rules. Back to your studies.” A deep voice sounded above her head sending her attackers scattering.  
  
She twisted as much as she could. Her captor was the Winter Soldier. His shining metal arm glinting in the late afternoon light. He held her in the air like she weighed the same as a kitten, the arm wasn’t even shaking. This wasn’t good. She was in so much trouble.  
  
He tossed her over his shoulder and started towards the teacher’s residence. NR67 squirmed desperately. So. Much. Trouble.  
  
*****  
  
NR67 found herself deposited on the counter in the bathroom of the Winter Soldier’s private rooms. She scanned for exits. There were no windows and he was between her and the door. She took a better look at what he was doing.  
  
He had set first aid kit on the counter and was pulling out everything he would need to treat her cuts and scrapes.  
  
The Winter Soldier cupped her chin and twisted her face to get a better look at the bruise blooming on her cheek bone. He wet a cloth with cold water from the tap and passed it to her. “For your face.”  
  
“Thank you.” She whispered. Respect for her teachers was deeply ingrained. He had moved on to inspecting her other injuries. His hands were gentle and practices, even the metal one. It felt like he had done this sort of thing before. She wondered who else he had taken care of. She had never heard anything about him having a partner.  
  
“Sit still, this is going to sting.” He dabbed at the cut on her knee with a swab dipped in iodine. The liquid bubbling and leaving a yellow smear behind. The Winter Soldier carefully taped a square of gauze over the area. “Why were you fighting little one?”  
  
NR67 kicked her feet awkwardly. “We aren’t supposed to tattle. The instructors get mad when we can’t handle things on our own.”  
  
The corner of the Soldier’s mouth twitched. “Technically I'm not one of your instructors.”  
  
NR67 made up her mind. He wasn’t as scary as everyone thought he was. She could trust him with why. “They were picking on one of the little girls. It wasn’t fair. They are bigger than her and there were more of them.”  
  
“They were bigger than you too.” He pointed out. This little spitfire. There was a lot of righteous fury packed into that tiny frame.  
  
If NR67 didn’t know that the Winter Soldier couldn’t laugh, she would have sworn he was trying to keep himself from laughing at her. She set her jaw. A certain percentage of recruits were only here to die or be killed. She knew she was little and some of the instructors though she wouldn’t make it. She had learned that much in her six months here. “I’m tough. I could have won.”  
  
He wasn’t going to laugh. Being amused would only encourage her and she couldn’t go around pulling this sort of shit. Still they were teaching these girls to fight, and she could defiantly fight. “I’m sure you could have little red. You got some good hits in. 49 will be in trouble tomorrow when the madam sees her black eye. And 52 is going to be limping for at least a few days.”  
  
“Am I going to be in trouble?” She wanted to know so she could be prepared. They probably wouldn’t kill her outright, and if she was prepared, she could survive whatever punishment they though at her.  
  
He smiled for real at her question. Lifting her off the counter and setting her back on her feet. “Why would you be in trouble? You were with me. I would be surprised if you didn’t have a bruise or two after a one on one session with the notorious Winter Soldier.”  
  
“One on one?” NR67 was sceptical. It sounded like he was going to cover for her. People didn’t cover for you unless they wanted something from you. And she was to young to have anything he might want.  
  
“They want me to teach the most promising students. I think you are promising.” His arm rippled when he shrugged. He didn’t think he would ever get used to that. “Show me that left hook.”  
  
*****  
  
“How is our soldier taking to the children?” Doctor Fennhoff flipped through the stack of reports from the instructors and staff at the Red Room had written for him.  
  
The Winter Soldier was proving to be one of the more awkward inheritances from the fall of Hydra. Hypnosis didn’t seem to be as effective in conjunction with the serum Zola had administered during the Winter Soldier’s construction. He seemed to need constant reassurance, otherwise the smallest trigger would snap him out. While he usually didn’t regain full consciousness he tended to lash out violently when control slipped. They had lost too more technicians than the command was happy about.  
  
A large part of the Winter Soldier’s value was in his ability to function independently in the field. Anything that impeded his cognitive functions was sub-optimal. Needing a trained neurologist or a psychotherapist to stay with him at all times would limit he usefulness, unless they could devise a system that would allow someone with less technical education and greater combat skills to act as handler.  
  
New hypnotic technique, or maybe an implant to shock his hippocampus when he strayed to far from approved thoughts. It would be far easier than the length they were forced to use to reprogram him now.  
  
In the meantime he seemed more stable around young people. The hope was the combination of unfamiliar surroundings and structured work would help him self regulate. From the reports it looked like it was working. At least as far as it went.  
  
“He has been showing a lot of interest in one particular pupil.” The instructor that provided that insight sounded concerned. Understandably, whatever his flaws he was still a valuable asset.  
  
Fennhoff raised an eyebrow. Interest was a very vague sentiment.  
  
The instructor gestured toward the window. In the practice ring outside the Winter Soldier spared with a tiny red headed girl. Every few punches he would stop and correct something about her stance or the way she moved. She was young to be learning some of the techniques he was teaching her. The school would normally have waited until she was ten or eleven to teach her how to put some in a triangle choke like that.  
  
“He speaks to her mostly in English.” The instructor who had drawn the doctor’s attention to the matter hovered at his shoulder.  
  
“Does he seem agitated after they interact?” Fennhoff queried. The girl didn’t match any of the descriptions they had been told to watch out for. Had she been one of the larger blondes or even the elegantly featured darker girls he might have been concerned. This little scrap with her flaming hair wasn’t a threat.  
  
“Not at all.” One of the other instructors said earnestly. “If anything, he is more relaxed. He is very protective of her though. He has interrupted several punishments.”  
  
Fennhoff considered the pair a little longer. Watching as the Winter Soldier let the girl climb his side and place him in a choke hold. The Soldier made a show of collapsing to the ground sputtering for breath. When she released the hold he picked her up and tossed her into the air. It was a surprisingly playfully gesture for the brainwashed man. Unless the programming was finally starting to stick and he was adjusting to his new life. “Perhaps she soothes him. Like a puppy. As long as he is still complying with his orders, I see no harm in the relationship. She can always be removed later if she stats to cause a problem.”  
  
*****  
  
A stir spread through the sparing class. The girls all nudging each other and whispering. Even the instructor stopped what she was doing to look at their new visitor. The Winter Soldier moved along the line. NR67 blinked at her protector. He had been gone for months. Now he was back. But he was hurt. He had left before, but never for this long and he had never come back hurt before. A purple and green bruise covered the left side of his face. His eye was swollen almost shut.  
  
He set his flesh hand on her shoulder and drew her out of the line. “I’m taking her hunting.”  
  
NR67 crossed her fingers behind her back and hoped. She knew the instructors weren’t supposed to let them outside the complex without direct orders. They had bent those rules for the Winter Solder before. Let that happen again today. Things didn’t look good though. The instructor seemed particularly reluctant to let him take her. “We have a shooting range here. Perhaps you would prefer-“  
  
The Winter Soldier snorted and drew her even closer. “What are you training her for? Targets on a shooting range get hit. They don’t die.”  
  
“Come.” He squeezed her shoulder and jerked his head towards the door. “We’re going into the north woods.”  
  
“Yes sir.” NR67 fell in at the Winter Soldier’s heels. No one would stop him when he was moving.  
  
NR67 loved the woods. The way the light filtered through the trees. The Winter Soldier teaching her how to move silently without leaving a trace. Roasting wood grouse or squirrels over a fire for their meal. Once they had even stayed out and he had shown her patterns in the stars. They spoke English in the woods. His voice was warmer and softer when he spoke English. He laughed and smiled like he never did when they were inside the school. If she got tired while they were walking, he would stop and wait. Or he would carry her, lifting her easily onto his shoulder where she could see the whole world unfold around them.  
  
She especially loved the woods today. She had sprained her wrist during class last week and the teachers had been encouraging the other girls to exploit that weakness. She was tired of breaking the same hold three or four times a day. The easy counter would be to break her opponent’s nose, but for some reason _she_ got in trouble when she left visible marks. No one else did, it was like they held her to a completely different standard than they held the other girls. She always seemed to have to do more with less.  
  
The Winter Soldier seemed to sense her destress. They stayed out until after dark. Sitting close to a small fire. He even let her sit in his lap and trace the star on his arm. All the while he told her little stories in English. American stories, about baseball games that came down to the last pitch, or cowboys riding across the rugged badlands, or children playing in the narrow streets of somewhere he called the empire city. NR67 loved when the Winter Soldier spoke English to her. His voice was so different from when he spoke any of the other languages, it was soft and warm, with something playful and teasing that made her feel like she was sharing a secret with him. A good secret. She was curious about that. Why was it so different? She knew he had spent time in America, but it was one of those things no one ever talked about.  
  
There were a lot of things no one talked about.  
  
Like why he had a metal arm at all. No one else did. It was strange that no one talked about that. If he’d gotten it fighting for the motherland somehow, NR67 would have thought that the instructors would bring it up every chance they got. But they didn’t. He had to have gotten it from the Motherland though, the big red star was proof of that.  
  
Or if he had fought in the Great Patriotic war. She was sure he had based on some of the tactical lessons he had given them in class and a few hints he had dropped in some of his stories. He wasn’t old enough to have enlisted though. She wondered if he had been parts of the boy’s army, or maybe he had lied about his age.  
  
The stars were starting to come out when he set her on her feet and smothered the fire. Using his metal hand to pat out the flames and shove dirt over the coals. Then he took her hand and slowly they started walking back towards their real lives. A place that was both home and a prison.  
  
The compound came into view. Its squat grey buildings peaking through the trees. NR67 clutched the Winter Soldier around his waist. “Don’t make me go back _Otets_ *. I don’t want to go back. Let’s run away.”  
  
The Winter Soldier knelt, taking her hands in his. One calloused and warm despite the autumn air, the other shining and cold. _Otets_. She had called him _Otets_. She thought of him as her father. He wished he could be. He had always wanted children, at least he thought he had. And she was such a little spitfire. He loved her like she was his.  
  
A good father would never leave his child in this situation though, and he couldn’t take her away from it. No matter how much he wanted to. “I know you don’t _Ryzhiy_ *. But if we run, they will come after us and I won’t be able to protect you.”  
  
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to go back either. He wasn’t happy in the school, and he didn’t like when the men in suits and uniforms sent him away, he hated it when the doctors poked and prodded him. “Yes, you could. None of the instructors are as good at fighting as you are. We could hide in the forest. I know we could.”  
  
“Oh _Ryzhevolosaya Decochka_ *.” The Winter Soldier tucked her hair behind her ear.  
NR67 blinked at him. His eyes were sadder than she had ever seen them, the blackened one was half open now, both silver irises were swimming with what looked unshed tears.  
  
He kissed the top of her head, blinking away tears. “You have no idea how much I wish that were true. One thing you will learn as you get older. Adults aren’t as in control as they would like you to think they are. I can’t protect you. I can’t even protect myself. All I can do is shelter you a little and hope that you can grow and someday you will be strong enough to run away on your own. You’re a fighter little red. If you can survive you can save yourself.”  
  
“ _Otets_?” NR67 was confused by what he was trying to tell her. He was the strongest person she knew. All the instructors, even the doctors were scared of him. If he couldn’t escape, what hope did she have?  
  
“ _Ryzhiy_.” He hugged her tiny frame close. She had so much fight in her. Maybe, just maybe he could protect that spark, feed it into a flame bright and bold enough that it would carry her through until she could save herself. “You have to be strong. Be strong, don’t let them see fear or weakness. Be strong and save yourself.”  
  
*****  
  
It had been almost a year since _Ryzhiy_ had seen the Winter Soldier. It was one of his longest absences that she could remember. Secretary Brezhnev must have needed him for something very important. Still all it had taken was a nod and a stern word to the gate guard and he had been allowed to take her out of her classes and back into the woods.  
  
They walked in perfect silence. Neither so much as ruffling a leaf as they made their way through the trees. Something unspoken made them stop when they reached a secluded clearing.  
  
“I brought you something.” Her _Otets_ pulled a purple rectangle out of his pocket.  
  
“Chocolate!” She squealed clutching the Cadbury bar to her chest. He almost always brought her little treats when he came back. Last time it had been candies, the time before that had been a half loaf of soft white bread.  
  
He laughed and set her on a tree branch. Lifting her as easily now as he had the first day she met him. Even though she was almost a foot taller at twelve than she had been at eight.  
  
The Winter Soldier sat down on fallen log, smiling at her warmly. It took so little to make her smile. He wished he could do it more often. Take her away from her and give her a chance at a normal childhood. “What did you learn today _Ryzhiy_?”  
  
“We watched a documentary about a woman named Peggy Carter.” _Ryzhiy_ slowly unwrapped the gloriously shiny and sweet chocolate. Just the sent of it made her mouth water.  
  
“Peggy Carter.” The Winter Soldier felt strange. Confused and somehow hollow. Like he was trying to remember something through a fever.  
  
“Mhmm.” _Ryzhiy_ kicked her feet and snapped a bite off the chocolate bar. It had been a great lesson. “She broke into the old Leviathan training school with a team of less than ten. And she took down D26. Now she runs something called S.H.I.E.L.D. it is like us, but not the good guys. I’m going to be her when I grow up.”  
  
“Peggy Carter.” That name. That name meant something. His metal fist clenched and unclenched as he tried to keep himself in the moment.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ froze with a second square halfway to her mouth. “Is something wrong _Otets_?”  
  
The soldier shook his head violently to clear it. The fuzzy memories were bad. He couldn’t let them in. Especially not right now. His little girl would get in trouble if the other one got a foothold right now. “Nothing _Ryzhevolosaya Decochka._  
  
Peggy Carter. He might not be letting himself fall into the full memories, but he remembered her being a fighter. Smart, tough, willing to take risks to get what she wanted. Everything he wanted for _Ryzhiy_. “Yes. Peggy Carter. You should be her when you grow up.”  
  
*****  
  
_Ryzhiy_ let herself back into the closet sized room she had been assigned when she became a senior student. There was still blood splatter on her shoes.  
  
A dark figure dominated the far side of her room. Broad shoulders blocking out most of the thin winter light. _Ryzhiy_ slid her hand into her jacket, fingers finding the handle of the knife she had strapped to her side.  
  
The figure turned away from the window so his face caught the light. His hair was longer than it had been. A silver wrist glinting between the leather of his sleeve and a glove. Eyes that never seemed to blink. He was unmistakable.  
  
Her _Otets_.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ relaxed. It wasn’t a continuation of her test. No one was stupid enough to use the Winter Soldier to test her. He was bound to go easy on her.  
  
“You did so well little one.” The Winter Soldier kissed her forehead proudly. She had made it through her trial by fire. His little girl could do this. She could survive this life. Maybe she could even survive long enough to escape.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ crumbled. Throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing helplessly. “I killed him _Otets_. He couldn’t fight back. They had him tied to a chair. And I killed him.”  
  
“Shhh. Shhh.” He stroked her hair and made soothing noises. “Be strong little red. You can’t let them see any weakness. We are in a nest of vipers. If they sent your fear, they will bite.”  
  
“I didn’t want this.” _Ryzhiy_ sniffled and curled her hands around the familiar straps on his jacket.  
  
He produced a white handkerchief and offered bit to her. “I know. I wish the world was kind enough that you didn’t have to. But this is the world we live in and the options are kill or be killed.”  
  
_Ryzhiy_ sniffed and wiped her eyes on her arm. “What if I don’t like this world? What if I want to change it?”  
  
He smiled at her. The light never quite reaching his eyes. “Well then little one. There is one thing you have to do. You have to live. Live long enough that your death has at least the chance of making a difference. Don’t throw it away fighting little battles against little people. Live, my _Ryzhiy_. Live and make the world what you want it to be.”  
  
_Ryzhiy_ felt more like a small lost child than she had in years. “Can we go to the woods?”  
  
Her _Otets_ worked his magic and they were disappearing into the trees within an hour.  
  
*****  
  
A night in the wood had helped immensely. Not that _Ryzhiy_ had been able to sleep. But at least she hadn’t felt like she was being watched all night. And with the Winter Soldier across the fire from her she hadn’t been worried about an attack either.  
  
Her _Otets_ had slept. At least intermittently. He had never done that around her before. It had raised a lot of questions. She had never really asked him questions before either. She was an adult now though. He trusted her enough to sleep around her. Maybe he would give her some answers.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ pulled her knees up to her chest. “Who is Steve?”  
  
The Winter Soldier’s face fell. Fear flashing in his eyes. “Why do you know that name?”  
  
“You said it in your sleep.” _Ryzhiy_ Shrugged. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked.  
  
“Never say it again. Not even to me. Try to forget you ever heard it. That name is dangerous.” The Winter Soldier was panicking a little. He wasn’t supposed to remember anything from before Leviathan had saved his life. The slightest hint that some of his past was coming back and they put him in the chair. Officially for his own good. Nothing involving the chair felt like it was for his own good.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ couldn’t know that he still had some of his old memories. Her knowing would put them both in danger.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ considered her _Otets_ intently. Something about that name had shaken him. He had said it in his English voice not his Russian one. He had a secret past. She knew that much, even if she didn’t know exactly what it was. There were tantalizing glimpses of something that no one her, or anyone else, to know about. In all the years she had known him he hadn’t aged. The same way they had said she would largely stop aging now that she had graduated. There was the way his eyes glazed over when his handlers said certain words. His almost robotic obedience in those times. “He’s your weakness. Isn’t he?”  
  
The soldier clenched his metal hand. “No. He is my strength.”  
  
The walk back to the Red Room was less relaxed than the one to the woods had been.  
  
They stopped when the school buildings came back into view. The Winter Soldier wondered briefly if his little girl remembered that they were in almost the exact same place they had stopped when she had asked him to run away with her. He also wondered if he should tell her to run now. He could probably cause a distraction, or even make it look like he’d had one of his slips and killed her. No. She was still too young. She wouldn’t make it on her own. And all the reasons the hadn’t been able to take her away then we’re still very real.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ crushed herself against his side. Squeezing him with all her strength. He never flinched no matter how hard she hugged him. “I love you _Otets_.”  
  
He squeezed her back. “I love you too _Ryzhevolosaya Decochka_. Don’t say that in front of anyone either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key Translations  
>   
>  _Otets_ \- Father  
>   
>  _Ryzhiy_ -Ginger/Red-head  
>   
>  _Ryzhevolosaya Decochk_ Red-haired little girl  
>   
> 


	2. No Longer A Child. Still Full Of Fight

_Ryzhiy_ eyes widened. They weren’t kidding when they said this was an important mission. Whatever it was it had to be vital to the Motherland. Otherwise her _Otets_ wouldn’t be here. At least she thought it was her _Otets_. No one else had an arm like his. And that was his distinctive asymmetrical stance.  
  
Only he didn’t seem to recognise her. There was no subtle smile. No tiny reassuring wink. His eyes stayed fixed straight ahead, cold and unfeeling. Mission eyes.  
  
Her husband obviously wasn’t impressed by the _Otets's_ presence. Storming through the room, still in a black mood. A metal hand landed on _Ryzhiy's_ shoulder, stopping her from following.  
  
“Ekaterina. I said hurry up.”  
  
_Ryzhiy_ looked down at the hand on her shoulder. If she moved, he would probably let her go. But she didn’t really want to. She would rather stay her with her _Otets_ , the hand was a clear indication that he did at least sort of know who she was. And if she went with Alexie, he would probably restart the fight they had been having in the car on the way here.  
  
“What are you doing Soldier?” One of the handlers snapped.  
  
“The girl stays. He goes.” The Winter Soldier growled tightening his grip just a hair. He fixed an aggressive stare on Alexie. Obviously ready to strike if the other man made a move.  
  
Alexie looked away first. Grinding his teeth and stocking from the room. _Ryzhiy_ was almost impressed with his restraint. Maybe he did remember some of the Winter Soldier’s reputation.  
  
The Winter Soldier glared at the remaining support staff milling around the room. One by one they all flinched and scuttled from the room. The handler was the last to leave. Looking pointedly at the entrance and shaking his head before he disappeared deeper into the building.  
  
The Winter Soldier used his grip on _Ryzhiy’s_ shoulder to turn her towards him. _Ryzhiy_ felt a rush of affection. He definitely had recognized her. How had she doubted that? He was her _Otets_. He would always recognize her.  
  
The Winter Soldier traced the edge of the half-healed bruise on her cheek. “Who?”  
  
_Ryzhiy_ was always amazed by how gentle he was with his metal hand. She knew the bruise looked bad, it had settled into a particularly nasty shade of yellow and green. She hadn’t wanted to waste makeup covering it during mission prep.  
  
She cupped his hand and pressed it to her face. The cool surface felt wonderful, and it allowed her to hide some of her shame. “Alexie.... I embarrassed him.”  
  
He sat her in a chair and stared wordlessly at her knees. Waiting for further explanation.  
  
She wasn’t sure how but she ended up telling him everything. Practically babbling  
  
He started for the door. Eyes blazing.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ grabbed his arm. The metal one again. She could feel the hard plates through his shirt. They shifted and flexed, whirring softly. A clear indication that he was on edge. People got hurt when the Winter Soldier was on edge. “You can’t. He's my husband and their hero.”  
  
“If he raises a hand to you in front of me, he finds out who hits harder.” It was the longest sentence he had said since she had arrived here, and it had obviously taken a lot of effort.  
  
She had seen her _Otets_ punch through solid walls. He couldn’t fight Alexie though. He was too important to the Mother Land. “He’s my husband.”  
  
The Winter Soldier covered her hand with his, not looking at her. “That doesn’t mean he is allowed to hurt you.”  
  
*****  
  
The missions with her _Otets_ were starting to stand out as bright points in her life, the same way his visits stood out in her childhood. Stars in a sea of misery. The stars weren’t always the same brightness. Sometimes he was almost like the man she remembered from her childhood. Sometimes he was sullen and silent, she wasn’t sure he actually recognised her those times. He always protected her, whether he acknowledged her as his _Ryzhevolosaya Decochka_ or not.  
  
This might be her last star. A brick had hit the Winter Soldier hard in the back of the head, propelled by an explosion from a gas tank they hadn’t known about. He had sheltered her and been hit himself. The concussion was bad. Her _Otets_ had been completely out of it on the way back to the safe house. Babbling in about trains and shooting positions. His language shifting from Russian, to French, to German and back again erratically. His handler and the technicians all panicked when they saw the state he was in.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ fretted as they swarmed around him. He had to be alright. She didn’t know what she would do if he wasn’t alright. Alexie had tried to make her leave the medical suite three times now and she had refused each time. She would pay for that later. Right now, she didn’t care.  
  
They were trying to steer him into some kind of specialised chair now. He obviously didn’t want to go. She wanted to scream. To yell at them and tell them not to hurt him. She couldn’t. They had to know what they were doing. They were his dedicated team after all. And he would tell her off when he was himself again. She wasn’t supposed to show weakness. Attachment was weakness. ‘No. He’s my strength.’ Attachment could be weakness. These people would see it as a weakness. It could also be a strength.  
  
The Winter Soldier found _Ryzhiy’s_ face in the crowd. She shouldn’t be here. His little girl was strong. A spitfire. She wasn’t a child anymore. She could do better than all this. She just had to get away from all this. “ _Be strong_.”  
  
English. He never spoke English in front of the handlers unless he had to for a mission. _Ryzhiy’s_ attention locked onto his eyes. He looked so desperate, like he was waiting for her to do something. She nodded once. She didn’t know want he needed, but she would figure it out and whatever it was she would do it.  
  
Something shifted in his posture. A weight lifting off his shoulders.  
  
“Comply Soldier.” The handler snapped, shoving him towards the chair.  
  
“Ready to comply.” He stepped back into the crowd of waiting handlers and submitted as the white coated assistants strapped him into the chair. His eyes never left _Ryzhiy_. Let her understand. Let her get away.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ was transfixed. Horrified by what they were doing to her _Otets_ , but unable to look away. She had never seen them do this to him before. He had always sheltered her from this part.  
  
It was the screams. _Ryzhiy_ had tortured a lot of people, none of them had ever screamed like that. And he had gotten into the chair willingly. He had let them put the mouth guard in. She knew he could break the restraints strapping him to the chair, but he wasn’t even trying to.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ backed slowly out of the room. He was their crown jewel. The killer they called in when someone couldn’t be killed. And this was how they treated him. _This_ was what they did when he got hurt for them. She was their new crown jewel. Was this what she could expect from her future?  
  
*****  
  
_Be strong_.  
  
Stars twinkled outside the bedroom window. _Ryzhiy_ couldn’t sleep. Instead she perched herself in the window searching out the patterns her _Otets_ had shown her when she was a child. Behind her Alexie snored, completely ignorant to the turmoil of his wife’s mind.  
  
_Be strong_.  
  
The words echoed in her head. They circled a memory. One connected to those pictures in the stars. A day in the woods. She had asked him to run. And he had told her he couldn’t. And from what she had seen tonight, he couldn’t.  
  
He had told her to be strong and save herself.  
  
_Be strong_.  
  
She was strong now. No matter what Alexie said she knew she was. Her _Otets_ knew she was too. She was the best of the best. She didn’t need anyone. She could survive on her own. _Ryzhiy_ stood, her movements soundless even in the quiet room.  
  
She was Strong.  
  
_She could run_.


	3. Happy Birthday Natasha

It had been five years since she had run. Three and a half years since anyone had come for her. Twenty-eight months since she had struck out on her own as an assassin for hire. Twenty-three months since the major agencies had started sending people after her. And now S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent a child.  
  
A very strange child.  
  
Who brought a bow and arrows to hunt an assassin?  
  
At least surveillance on him would keep her busy while she waited for a new job. _Ryzhiy_ turned a page in the book she was pretending to read. Strange was always interesting to surveil. It was normal people who were boring. Normal people and professionals. Both were so set in their routines. Different routines, but routines. Normal people went to the same places everyday. Did the same things. Professionals went to places that were carefully calculated to be different, did things that were deliberately not the same and deliberately not suspicious.  
  
The child from S.H.I.E.L.D. on the other hand, did whatever struck him in the moment. Went to some of the same places. Went places he had no right or business to go. Didn’t seem to notice or worry if he was being followed. Went places a professional would avoid at all costs.  
  
Like here. The only reason a professional would come to Studentski Trg was if they were meeting a contact for a live drop. And there was no way they would do that in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.  
  
The place was practically empty, just a big open space with a few mother’s pushing prams or businessmen on their way to meetings somewhere else. A handful of elderly people sat on the benches around the edges playing chess or reading like _Ryzhiy_ , who while not technically old was pretending to be, complete with grey wig peaking out from under the layers she was bundled in against the cold.  
  
And alone, sitting on the rim of the fountain in the centre of the square, completely exposed, one boy in his late teens. Sandy haired, with freckles and a smudge of dirt on his nose. He was eating a sandwich like he didn’t have a single care in the world or any place to be, which she supposed he didn’t.  
  
He was here for her. But the only information S.H.I.E.L.D. had on her was that she was in Belgrade and a ten year old picture of her. She knew. She had lifted her file out of his backpack while he was trying to get out of the train station his first day here.  
  
He crumbled a piece of his bread and spread it on the ground for the pigeons.  
  
He was strange, but he was growing on her.  
  
*****  
  
Breaking into the safe house hadn’t even been hard. Along the roof ridge of the neighbouring building, bypass the alarm on the attic window with a simple parallel circuit, avoid a single motion detector in the hall, and she was in. S.H.I.E.L.D. needed to work on their perimeters.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ approached the sleeping figure silently. Her pistol low at her side. She didn’t thinks she would need it, but it would just be embarrassing to be caught on the wrong foot because she didn’t have it ready. She covered his mouth with her free hand and pressed him into the pillow.  
  
He came awake almost instantly, writhing and struggling to get away.  
  
_Ryzhiy_ increased her pressure a little. “Don’t scream. I made you coffee.”  
  
He stopped struggling and she released her hand.  
  
“You made me…” Clint was very confused by what was happening. He was supposed to be spending his first week here getting comfortable with his surroundings, learning the lay of the land. Only once he was on familiar ground was he to try and make contact with his target. He hadn’t even started planning a trap for her.  
  
“Coffee. You like coffee.” _Ryzhiy_ said perching on the bedside table. He had bought four or five coffees everyday this week.  
  
*****  
  
_Ryzhiy_ considered the sandy haired man across the kitchen table. She wasn’t ready for the questions he was asking. No one had ever asked her these questions before. No one had ever thought the answers were important. “My name?”  
  
Clint slurped his coffee. It was still too hot. “If we’re going to be friends, I should be able to call you something other than girl who steels my coffee.”  
  
She wasn’t about to let this stranger call her _Ryzhiy_. Only her _Otets_ had ever called her that. But she had never thought of herself as Ekaterina, and she'd never had a real name before that. “People call me the Black Widow.”  
  
“Yeah. It says that in your file. What it doesn’t say in your file it what your name is.”  
  
Outside in the cold winter air she could hear bells. A glorious cacophony of hope and rebirth. She wanted to be someone he could be friends with. _Ryzhiy_ wasn’t that person. _Ryzhiy_ was just trying to survive. That person could do more. She could be that person. But she would have to become someone new to do it.  
  
The bells were still ringing. She had lost track of time. Today was Christmas Day. Not a bad day to start a new life all things considered. “Natasha. My name is Natasha.”  
  
“All right Nat. Let’s talk about how we end this with both of us alive and breathing.”


	4. A Family Christmas

Sitting between Clint and Gabe Jones for Christmas dinner was a singularly surlier experience. Everyone at this table was a hero of some kind. Well maybe not Howard Stark’s wife or son. The Pym baby obviously didn’t count. And Clint hadn’t done anything particularly heroic yet, although it was only a matter of time in Natasha’s opinion.  
  
But everyone else.  
  
There were three Howling Commandos, Gabe Jones, James Montgomery Falsworth, and Timothy Dugan. Jones’ wife Magda was a civil right ledged. Fasworth’s partner Jack Churchill was practically and army all on his own. Both of the Pym Parents were genius scientists with heavily redacted files. Stark was well, Stark. Nick Fury was a star agent at S.H.I.E.L.D. and Peggy Carter was grooming him to take over as director when she retired. Even Director Carter’s husband Grant was an award winning photojournalist, he had been in the thick of pretty much every major conflict in the last four decades taking photos that he famously called ‘the best way to hold people responsible’. Half of the table had been Times Magazine’s person of the year at least once for god’s sake.  
  
Natasha did not belong here.  
  
How had she let Clint talk her into this? She should have stayed in her room at the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound. For all they insisted she wasn’t under arrest, she still felt like she belonged in the underground cell.  
  
“Natasha would you pass me the brussels sprouts?” Peggy asked pleasantly. The girl was still so skittish. She had hoped that after the better part of a year living at S.H.I.E.L.D. she would have relaxed at least a little.  
  
Nat couldn’t take it any longer. They were all acting like this was normal. Like they ate with rouge assassins all the time. Didn’t they realise how easy it would be to poison the food? There were so many saucy things with rich flavours, everyone knew that those were the easiest. And Peggy Carter was the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. at least for a few more months. “I tried to kill you.”  
  
Peggy smiled and passed a basket of buns to her husband who was clearly trying and failing to hide his own amusement. “Well, if you pass me the brussels sprouts all is forgiven.”  
  
The rest of dinner passed in a haze. Natasha tried to keep her head down and concentrate on eating, but people kept asking her questions, or passing her more food. Clint handed her the end of a Christmas cracker and she ended up wearing a bright green paper crown.  
  
*****  
  
After dinner drinks were in the living room. Although it wasn’t exactly drinks the way Natasha knew them. There was no posturing or jockeying for prestige. For all these people were some of the most impressive she had ever met, here they were just friends... Something she had very little practical experience with. So far, she and Clint had been coasting on sparing practice together and lunches together that mostly involved him talking while she ate and silently observed the room.  
  
Which was what she was mostly doing now, tucked behind a ficus, watching.  
  
Clint was sprawled on the floor playing Clue with Grant and little Tony. Peggy was absently rubbing the back of her husband’s neck while she chatted with Fury, Pym, and the elder Stark about something S.H.I.E.L.D. related. The others were debating something to do with the recent election.  
  
Janet wandered into Natasha’s corner, bouncing a fussy baby Hope on her hip. “Enjoying your self?”  
  
“I’ve never been to an American Christmas before.” Natasha demurred shifting from one foot to the other.  
  
“Well I hope you don’t think this is typical. Peggy and Grant aren’t exactly your average-“ Janet broke off as Hope whimpered and squirmed. “Can you hold her for one second? I just need to grab her bottle out of the fridge.”  
  
“No. I….” Natasha’s protests went unheard as Janet poured the baby into her arms shifting her hands, so she was cradling her properly against her shoulder.  
  
Natasha looked down at the little girl. These people were crazy.  
  
Hope burbled and patted Natasha’s cheeks with her chubby hands.  
  
Natasha couldn’t help smiling. These people were crazy, but they were growing on her.  
  
*****  
  
Every time Natasha thought she was getting her feet under her in this new life something came along and blindsided her. The last place she had expected to see her _Otets_ was in Peggy Carter’s hallway.  
  
But that was him.  
  
Or a photo of him at least. Sitting on the hood of an old military jeep, hair slicked back, a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth, a rifle cradled in his arms. Surrounded by the Howling Commandos, and Peggy Carter. Captain America on his right, an arm around his shoulders. Brothers in arms in the middle of what was clearly the middle of the Great Patriotic War. The American side of the war from the looks of it. No one in the photos of soldiers on the eastern front ever looked that happy or well fed. Everyone was laughing,  
  
Even her _Otets_ was… _smiling_.  
  
The Winter Soldier didn’t smile. She could count the number of times she had seen her _Otets_ smile on one hand. She doubted anyone else had seen that smile in the last thirty years.  
  
“Ready to go Kido?” Grant Carter smiled warmly at Natasha, spinning his car keys around a finger.  
  
“Who’s this?” The Photo was too old. It had to be his father or something. Yes. That would make sense. His father had been a defector from the West during the Great Patriotic War. It even made sense for them to find a way to control him, no one really trusted the children of defectors. Too many of them tried to start coups.  
  
“That is Captain America.” Grant’s stomach flipped. He was not ready for this question. Not from her. He’d had close to forty years to get himself ready and he still wasn’t. “Peggy and Captain Rogers were… close, during the war.”  
  
“No. Not him. I recognise him. Who is this?” She tapped the glass just below the face with her adoptive father’s cheek bones. Adoptive grandfather? Is that what he would be to her?  
  
Grant squeezed the keys in his hand, careful not to squeeze too tight. Peggy would be deeply irritated if he bent another set of keys. He couldn’t let the memories overwhelm him right now. “That’s Bucky Barnes. He was Steve’s best friend. He… He didn’t make it.”  
  
“Steve’s best friend….” _Steve. He’s my strength._ It was him. She wasn’t ageing like she should, why would she expect her _Otets_ to? He had been a war hero. Just not for the Russians.  
  
“Waiting in the car is cold you know.” A rambunctious voice broke into Grant’s memories and Natasha’s speculation. Clint bounded through the door, scarf flapping against his coat.  
  
“Sorry Clint. I got distracted.” Natasha ducked her head sheepishly. She could figure out if it was her _Otets_ later. It should be easy now that she knew who she was looking for.  
  
“ _You_ got distracted?” Clint asked sceptically.  
  
“This was the first time. I found it very disconcerting.” She should work on getting inflection into her everyday voice. She was so used to hiding any emotion she wasn’t manufacturing.  
  
Clint slung an arm around her neck. “There is a _cutting_ sense of humour under all that cold disinterest.”  
  
Natasha smiled and leaned into the hug. She had a friend now too. She kind of understood what her _Otets_ meant about that being his strength. “Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”  
  
“Ooo, hey, Grant can I drive?” Clint bounced excitably down the hall.  
  
“When I think you aren’t going to try and spin doughnuts on the ice, maybe.” Grant laughed. Clint was such a little punk. He was sure he had never been this bad, although admittedly it had been more than a few years since he had been that young. Still he was exactly the distraction Grant needed right now.  
  
“Can I drive?” Natasha asked hopefully. The drive back to S.H.I.E.L.D. would be a good way to clear her head.  
  
“Sure kiddo.” Grant tossed her the keys which she caught neatly.  
  
“Oh, come on!” Clint’s good-natured gripping carried them all the way out to the car.  
  
A small smile crept on to Natasha’s face as she backed out of the driveway. This was what having friends was like. Friends who liked her even though they knew what she had done. Friends her _Otets_ would approve of. She could get used to this new life.


End file.
